6. 1972: US basketball team gets robbed

As if the '72 Games didn't have enough excitement going for it, this one was a doozy. The US basketball team has always enjoyed Olympic domination, Dream Team or no Dream Team. They mostly just send over their College stars and call it a day. Every so often a sizably decent international squad rises to the challenge, however, and they give the US a run for their money before being quietly snuffed. No sweat off their back, eh?

In '72, the Cold War is....fuck, you people already know about the damn Cold War, I don't have to set things up for you. It's the Americans and the Soviets, dummies. You figure it out. The US is running on a 63-game unbeaten streak, dating back to whenever the hell basketball was made an Olympic sport. And in the tournament, they cruise through the prelims and the semi-finals with an 8-0 record, to meet with the big bad Russkies in the Finals, who have an identical record and almost similar pasting of opponents. Sounds like a match for the ages.

The Russians win! They win by losing twice, and then winning. And if they continued to lose, they would have to keep playing (and losing) until they win. But ultimately....they win. This is Russia's version of the Miracle on Ice, only they call it something else, like the Incredible Happening Thing on the Court. Gee, it's a good thing they didn't pull this shit at the hockey Summit Series with Canada a couple weeks later. There would seriously be a war if they did.

The game is a nailbiter all the way through. I'll zip to the end: 3 seconds left in the game. Three. Russia is up 49-48. They foul American Doug Collins. Collins sinks first free throw, 49-49. In the middle of shooting his second free throw, the horn goes off for some reason. Huh? No matter, he sinks it anyway, refs say disregard it. US up 50-49, Russia to inbound the ball. 3 seconds left. They throw it in, fail to score. US WINS!!! But wait! One official had whistled play to stop with one second remaining after hearing the earlier horn and seeing a disturbance near the scorers table. The Soviets argued that they had requested a timeout before Collins' foul shots. The referees ordered the clock reset to three seconds. Replay the inbound. They throw it in, fail to score. US WINS!!! But wait! The clock was in the process of being reset when the referees put the ball in play. Secretary General of FIBA comes down and orders the clock again reset to 3 seconds and the inbound replayed. Again. This time, Soviets get the ball down low, throw up a buzzer beater, and sink it. Soviets win!? US files protest, FIBA denies.

The United States men's basketball team did not show up to the medal ceremony. To this day, their silver medals sit unclaimed in a vault in IOC headquarters. And each member of the team has it written in his will that no member of any of their families may claim the medals after their deaths.

Always remember: "...one of the basic principles of the Olympic Games: that politics play no part whatsoever in them."

Of course this pissed off the Americans, who aren't supposed to lose at basketball. Ever. In 1976, they came back with a vengeance and crushed everybody, but it became clear by then that the competition was getting a bit tougher. Boycotts in 80 and 84 (see below) tainted things, but in 88 the US team lost--honestly and realistically, for the first time ever-- to the Soviets in the semi-finals, and had to settle for bronze.

Wow. Bronze. How unlike gold it is. Alright, world. You think you're hot shit? You think you can fuck with USA basketball? You really want to dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? The gloves are off, mothafuckas. Let's see you ballers throw down, fo' shizzle.

Thus, in Barcelona 92, with the lifting of restrictions on professionals, all the frustration of United States basketball channeled into a single, diamond-tipped foci, culminating in the most awe-inspiring, most mind-blowing, most inhuman display of basketball the world had ever seen, and it will stay that way until the end of time. Jordan. Pippen. Bird. Stockton. Barkley. Ewing. Magic. The motherfucking Dream Team.

They won the gold medal before the tournament even started. They had a 37 point lead on Angola in the warmup. Their strongest competition--Croatia--lost the game just after the jump ball. It was such a vicious slaughtering of international inferiors, it bemused me to make the prophetic observation: "I give the world 10 years to catch up."

I won't say I'm right.