Ishkur's DJ Mix Reviews!

There are an awful lot of DJs out there. And there are an awful lot more who think they're any good. But that's not for them to judge--that's for me to judge. If you're a DJ and you just developed a mix with the technical precision of Richie Hawtin, the impeccable track selection of Sasha and the crowd-pleasing basslines of Aphrodite, what better way to expose your mix to the world than by a scrutinizing showcase of approval on ishkur.com!

Why would you do such a thing? Exposure, of course. Isn't promotion what gets you gigs? Acquiring a tasty review on a site known for mocking and ridiculing is better than gravy. It makes you damn near untouchable, and for those promoters and agents around the world who'll peep upon your booking info on here....pure gold.

Here's how it works: You send your mixes to the following address.

Ishkur
PO Box 18532
Delta, British Columbia, Canada
V4K 4V7

DO NOT SEND ME ANY MIXES AT THIS TIME. THIS SECTION WILL BE REVAMPED SHORTLY, INCLUDING A WAY TO UPLOAD MIXES SO EVERYONE CAN LISTEN TO THEM WITHOUT IT BURNING MY BANDWIDTH, BUT FOR NOW IT'S ON HIATUS.

I accept CDs, cassettes, DATs, Vinyl (ooooh!), and even 8-tracks if you're down with that. Yes, good golly, that means you have to pay for postage. Suck it in, you miser. Consider it a small investment in yourself. Like you don't spend 100 times that much on records every week.

Things you MUST include along with your mix:

A bio. It can be as long or as short as you want, full of accolades, pictures, awards, whatever. I don't care. Just give me some kind of introduction as to who you are and what you're sending me. I'm not going to review some nameless cd-rw that shows up unannounced in my PO Box. But hey, thanx for the music!

A tracklisting of your mix. Don't be a pussy and refuse to include a playlist in the liner notes because you think it's some kind of trade secret you're protecting. Fuck that shit, you play other people's music; pony up with the artists' names, god dammit. They deserve the recognition more than you do. If there aren't any, just write "white label".

Booking information. You do want to get booked, don't you? Website url, agency/label/affiliates, e-mail/return address, whatever else that's pertinent. This is your shrine on my site that I'm building. Some contact info would be useful.

Feel free to send anything else you'd like to see supplement your review, like pics. You can send money too, and I'll gleefully accept it, but it's not going to help your review any.

What I look for in a mix: Creativity. Talent. Quality. Originality, and the ability to at least make me say once during your set "Holy shit! This is fucking genius!" So if you think you're ready to break out, kick ass, take names and chew bubblegum--prove it. Step up to the plate, send me your mixes, and let the mighty scalpal of rave criticism measure your 1337 skillz.

No, I do not do online mixes. The quality--even for a really good mp3--is just not as good as a cd or tape. And I can't pay attention to it very well when I'm on the computer, because I'm usually doing other things as well. If I'm going to review your mix I want to give it my full attention, and that warrants listening to it offline. I also want to review the whole package--cover art, liner notes, everything. Good presentation and style are rewarded, especially to DJs who put forth that extra time and effort towards marketing themselves by caring what the physical media looks like. A DJ's success comes from hype just as much as skill, after all.

Reviews are graded on a scale of Oakenfold heads . Five Oakenfold heads means the DJ is capable of spinning on twenty turntables with eight arms, like Carl Coxtopus. No Oakenfold heads means the DJ doesn't even know what the second turntable is for....kinda the way Oakenfold spins, ha ha!