To say that this site costs me nothing is an understatement of massive proportions. And while I'd love to pretend that I live in a gumdrop and rainbow fantasy world with unicorns fucking lollipops and happy little trees painted by Bob Ross dancing to happy hardcore with cute little candy ravers, a certain reality known as "bandwidth overage charges" always snaps me out of my ecstasy-induced haze. Tens of thousands of people visit this site every day. That costs me money. Lots of money. And since PLUR don't pay the bills, I have opted for the old net standard of banner advertising.

The Deal:
     You can now purchase advertising on ishkur.com through Paypal. Ads will be sold on a performance basis--by number of impressions. That way, it doesn't matter how long it takes--your ad will remain in my rotation until its impression quota is met. I can also set up an account for you so you can log in and see how your ad is doing, track its clickthroughs, and such.

The Cost:
     I'll start by selling ads for $10/300,000 impressions, or $30/1,000,000 impressions. That's like 10¢ CPM.....1/100th the cost of the industry norm. Your ad gets a guaranteed 100,000 views. Doesn't matter if it takes one month or 6 months to accumulate that number -- it stays in rotation until it does. The benefit of this is the longer it stays in rotation, the more different people it will see.

Once your purchase is complete, do the following: Email me your banner (468x60), along with the url you want it to point to and anything else that's pertinent. I'll do the rest.

The Specs:
     All banners must be 468x60. It can be different dimensions, but I'm resizing it anyway, which means it will look squished, so at least make it look close to those numbers. I really don't care what your banner looks like or what you're promoting, do whatever you want. Yes, Perfecto, that means you can put an ad here advertising Oakenfold's newest jukebox cd if you want. Porn banners are fine, but keep them in the realm of good taste -- nothing more graphic than Playboy nudity.

I am also open to alternative advertising requirements, like skyscrapers and interstitials (NO POPUPS) and also promotion campaigns and articles lauding you or your product. Email me for details.

I'll put your banner up when I receive it.

If you don't have a banner either, then allow me to make one for you for a modest fee of $75. Email me the details of who you are and what you want to advertise on your banner, and also send any graphics or logos that you would like to see on it, and I'll take care of the rest.

Text ads! In lieu of big flashy banners that people have learned to tune out or install plug-ins to block are ordinary links strategically placed that advertise a website or service. These are proving to be especially effective because of their non-overbearing manner. Easily the most prime real estate on Ishkur.com is the main page. It's the page everyone visits first and foremost on the site. There is plenty of space there, and for a stupidly tiny fee of $10 I will put your text classified there in its own sidebar for one month of heavy viewership (and clickership). You can advertise your ebay auction, your myspace, or anything you damn well please. Doesn't matter to me.

Same as the others, email me your text link and what you'd like it to say and I'll do the rest.

Any questions, comments, complaints, or angry accusations that I'm selling out, you know where to find me. Thanks for your support, people, and I truly appreciate that you love my site so much.

Peas.

Ish.